Letter for Lucie

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Letter for Lucie Manette

Dear Lucie,
When you read this letter, I won’t be breathing anymore, my soul will be flying peacefully in the air, and my heart will be an angel and always protect you. For the last wish I ask from you, no matter how hard the life will be, no matter how painful you will feel that the tear you shed will be the happy tears and the words you say will full of happiness. Your life without me should be brighter than any star in the sky, prettier than the light of the moon at twilight and more gorgeous than the sun rise every morning.
Charles Darnay is perfectly a great man full of kindness for you. I’m a loser in my heart. Even when I met you privately before your wedding to tell you everything, and you consoled me, in my deepest dark heart, I was still jealous of him, and even hated him. It made me become another person, a man who just knew how to live on the dark side, full of hatred. However, I’m glad that you still smile with me when I’m such a loser. Your smiles, your words, your voice, those saved me. I’m glad that I tell you the truth, or at least I know you learn my heart even if it belongs to Charles. It’s extremely hard to be his friend without your words. Thanks.
Your dad, Doctor Manette must be a thief: he stole al the stars in the sky and put them all into your eyes, and it’s so difficult to hide my feelings when I look at them. You know that I did everything for you and Charles. I’m not trying to say my kindness is better than him, nor am I trying to put an end to my life because I’m a loser. I love you, Lucie, and you know that deeper than anyone. I would rather die than see you cry sorrowfully, each tears is like a knife to my heart.
I’m a drunkard, and I will do everything as a drunkard. I put my life on this gamble and hope Charles will able to live to take care of you. I will drop the responsibilities to let him bear it. And I guess, or at least I hope, I will win this game. Also, I want to use the last breath of my life to ensure that you will be happy forever. Charles might want that too. However, in the last movement of my life, I want to be a man who love you and can give you happiness in your life.
It hard to write down every feeling I have for you. Much harder than to say I love you, or say good bye to you. However, this is the time, the time for the last word, the time for my love, and the time to say good bye. Adieu, my dearest love.
The man who will always sacrifice for you
Sydney Carton

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